Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Come share oat with me in your robe
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
