he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
