Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
