well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
dude i'm inner monologue high
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
