A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
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