i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
I just want nice things and good sex
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
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