Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
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