your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Randomize
