i wish there were pregnant emoticons
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Randomize
