This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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