just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
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