You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Randomize
