no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Randomize
