Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Randomize
