He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
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