I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Randomize
