some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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