I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
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