Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Randomize
