what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Randomize
