I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
