return my video game
there was a trapeze. enough said
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
