Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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