I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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