I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
