I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
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