I hate your face
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
