I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Taylor Swift is so right about you.
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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