it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
The uberlube is also flammable
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Randomize
