Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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