Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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