This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
