please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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