no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
