this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
