careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize