Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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