i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
