I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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