i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
