i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Randomize
