Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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