Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize