so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Randomize
