Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
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