My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Randomize
