At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
i drank out of a bidet.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
