Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
