i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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