do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
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