Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Randomize
