As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Randomize
