mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
