mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Randomize
