Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
I take back everything I said about communal showers
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize
