shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
