I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
