She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize
