I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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