Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize