I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Randomize
